Wahooooooo! We got questions!! That's right, an entire 2 people figured out how this section works. From now on, these two people should be regarded as gods among men, and men among lower life forms (a slug, a bird, or a snake, for example). To the 5,999,999,996 other people on this planet who have yet to figure out how this section works, I shall explain it to you yet again: You would send us questions (most likely through e-mail), and we would answer them. Please be sure to specify that these are in fact questions you would like for us to answer, so that we realize that they are for this section, and you're not just some crazy person who likes to use the question mark character a lot. Q: What is the chemical composition of lard? (From: Lindsey) A. Lard is a very complex structure made from the elements Barium, Carbon, Oxygen, Nitrogen, Fluorine, and Astatine. Fortunately, they are all in a 1:1:1:1:1:1 ratio, thus giving us the molecular formula of BaCONFAt. Q. What does one do when they forget tweezers? (From: Lindsey) A. Hopefully, one would stop using plural pronouns to refer to singular nouns. Either that or one would stop tweezing. Q. Who is this strange Pete Nye character? (From: Lindsey) A. That's a very good question. I would recommend you check out the sites www.ILovePeteNye.com or www.WonderfulWorldofPeteNye.com. Neither will give you any information on Pete Nye (In fact, neither of them exist.), but I recommend you check these sites out anyway. Q. Where did you come from? (From: Lindsey) A. If I told you I came from San Diego, California, I'd be lying. Anyway, I came from San Diego, California.
Q. When are you going back? (From: Lindsey) A. OK, I confess. I can't think up anything clever, witty, or even remotely funny as a response. Instead, I shall ask of you all to say "poop" until the word loses all meaning. Q. Are 12 questions enough? (From: Lindsey) A. Of course 12 questions are enough. However, you didn't ask 12 questions, did you? Instead, you had 8 questions, 3 sentences, and 2 fragments. Q. Do beavers eat fish? (From: Courtney) A. Silly Courtney, everyone knows that a beaver's diet basically consists of tree buds and tender bark. Q. If your coach tells you to step lightly so as to not break egg shells, are not egg shells already broken? (From: Courtney) A. Yes, egg shells are already broken, but only when your coach tells you to step lightly. Any other time, egg shells aren't. |
